Fisken

by Ben Beltran

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1.
03:01
Oh I'll start a riot start to write and buy a little time Oh i'll start to rot if I don't start to find another star I'm melting down I'm screaming every night I'm going mad I'm always hot I'm getting tired of the yearlong summer need another hobby keep my fears a little foggy and away Because trying to keep the dream alive is just a lost campaign Oh I'll clean the house and feed the cat and get a little noisy Make some tea and find a blanket get a little cozy Find a movie and forget about the world around me Say I'll call you change my mind and later wish I hadn't Think of something funny send a message so you know that I'm ok Write something dramatic so you really know this time's a living hell I'm only trying for your attention But I won't lie, there is no question: This selfish year has left me lost at sea No I won't hide my worst intentions To stay alive through this infection I know you're only trying to do the same I'll start asking you of all the thing I know you haven't told me We'll make excuses wake up late and we'll keep feeling lonely It's not you It's not me either It's this stupid journey We just talk to hide the fact we both were feeling horny We don't make sense of all this, we don't say anything at all We're only going through the motions, and we know there's nothing wrong These few moments of affection Closest thing to real perfection This is just as far as we can go And this year ain't getting younger Bursting in sweat tears and anger Hoping that next year we can go home Oh you'll start a riot start to write and buy a little time
2.
03:55
What stars have had to die To make the light that blinds my eyes Now all I see is your face like silver flowers What dreams did I wake from, did I forget So you could make this haze so real your pastel manner shakes me I'm still dosed from hearing you I'm still lost daydreaming This stage ghosts in front of me Towering to the ceiling Profound and awake What monsters do I kill To put my psyche in a place where I can face your disobedient flair What type of creatures make you sing I hope one of those could be me I hope My prospects are nonzero I'm still trying to get you back Get you lost daydreaming Start a beat inside of you Melting to the ground Volcanic, asleep I'm still dosed from hearing you I'm still lost daydreaming This stage ghosts in front of me Towering to the ceiling Profound and awake
3.
04:15
Underwater you swam with me I saw the ripples of your butterfly kick In the seabed I drew your face You drew conclusions I'm not proud of Underwater I drowned with you A breathless fool A reckless blushing Underwater my eyes saw blue The fades of you that danced like magic How I wanted to wish for you Your brightness and your smile How I wanted to find somewhere cold How I wanted you to be alone To be away with me Something more than I had wanted Something more than we had Something more than I could give Something more than we had Underwater we'll still be new it won't be true but we'll be happy Underwater I'll swim with you I'll ride your waves and float back home How I wanted to wish for you Your brightness and your smile How I wanted to find somewhere cold How I wanted you to be alone to be away with me Something more than I had wanted Something more than we had Something more than I could give Something more than we had
4.
01:51
I wasn't paying attention drifting on your acid tongue You have terrific tension, rosy jelly through my bones If I drink one more word I'll be too drunk Save your last move for when we're back inside Oh I can't lie, you're out of this world You made your intervention, now my heart has gone too slow I don't love this direction but I really want to go I don't know who I think you are be cool don't make a fool of me Save your last words I don't have fortitude I know I'm screwed, you're out of your mind
5.
03:47
I remember days back home by when the beating heat had gone where we lay calmly under pillow forts and watched reruns or hit on the controls the hours lasted years, some centuries ago When we rushed the days like accidents Around you I was at my best I never had the precedents No seconds lost to hesitating doubt And now each step gets closer to hysteria So what if I still hold on to us So what if I'm still holding a grudge So what if I'm still of your religion there's not many signs of grace up in my stars Now all these pigeon folk that hang around they make it hard to figure out the bricks that mark the passageway the godly from the pleasant enemy I still can't jump down from their wings So maybe yes you're right, in all these amulets I only want to find a string connecting everything behind me In a picture in a song and in alarm So I remember days back home before this beating heart went cold where we sat lonely in your doorstep and we couldn't say exactly what was wrong we were only flesh and blood.

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Tracks from 2016

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released January 16, 2017

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Ben Beltran Guadalajara, Mexico

I once fought a wizard and won; enthusiasm enthusiast; noise emitter; low standards; displaced border crosser; amateur witch doctor; power ranger; certified cat whisperer; 98% water.

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