Fisken

by Ben Beltran

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1.
03:01
2.
03:55
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04:15
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01:51
5.
03:47

about

Tracks from 2016

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released January 16, 2017

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about

Ben Beltran Guadalajara, Mexico

I once fought a wizard and won; enthusiasm enthusiast; noise emitter; low standards; displaced borderling; amateur witch doctor; power ranger; certified cat whisperer; 98% water.

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Track Name: The New Year
Oh I'll start a riot
start to write and buy a little time
Oh i'll start to rot
if I don't start to find another star

I'm melting down
I'm screaming every night I'm going mad
I'm always hot
I'm getting tired of the yearlong summer

need another hobby keep my fears a little foggy and away
Because trying to keep the dream alive is just a lost campaign

Oh I'll clean the house
and feed the cat and get a little noisy
Make some tea
and find a blanket get a little cozy

Find a movie
and forget about the world around me
Say I'll call you
change my mind and later wish I hadn't

Think of something funny send a message so you know that I'm ok
Write something dramatic so you really know this time's a living hell

I'm only trying for your attention
But I won't lie, there is no question:
This selfish year has left me lost at sea

No I won't hide my worst intentions
To stay alive through this infection
I know you're only trying to do the same

I'll start asking you
of all the thing I know you haven't told me
We'll make excuses
wake up late and we'll keep feeling lonely

It's not you
It's not me either It's this stupid journey
We just talk
to hide the fact we both were feeling horny

We don't make sense of all this, we don't say anything at all
We're only going through the motions, and we know there's nothing wrong

These few moments of affection
Closest thing to real perfection
This is just as far as we can go

And this year ain't getting younger
Bursting in sweat tears and anger
Hoping that next year we can go home

Oh you'll start a riot
start to write and buy a little time
Track Name: Drydreaming
What stars have had to die
To make the light that blinds my eyes
Now all I see is your face like silver flowers
What dreams did I wake from, did I forget
So you could make this haze so real
your pastel manner shakes me

I'm still dosed from hearing you
I'm still lost daydreaming
This stage ghosts in front of me
Towering to the ceiling
Profound and awake

What monsters do I kill
To put my psyche in a place where I can face
your disobedient flair
What type of creatures make you sing
I hope
one of those could be me
I hope
My prospects are nonzero

I'm still trying to get you back
Get you lost daydreaming
Start a beat inside of you
Melting to the ground
Volcanic, asleep

I'm still dosed from hearing you
I'm still lost daydreaming
This stage ghosts in front of me
Towering to the ceiling
Profound and awake
Track Name: Underwater
Underwater you swam with me
I saw the ripples of your butterfly kick
In the seabed I drew your face
You drew conclusions I'm not proud of

Underwater I drowned with you
A breathless fool
A reckless blushing
Underwater my eyes saw blue
The fades of you that danced like magic

How I wanted to wish for you
Your brightness and your smile
How I wanted to find somewhere cold
How I wanted you to be alone
To be away with me
Something more than I had wanted
Something more than we had
Something more than I could give
Something more than we had

Underwater we'll still be new
it won't be true
but we'll be happy
Underwater I'll swim with you
I'll ride your waves and float back home

How I wanted to wish for you
Your brightness and your smile
How I wanted to find somewhere cold
How I wanted you to be alone
to be away with me
Something more than I had wanted
Something more than we had
Something more than I could give
Something more than we had
Track Name: Followup
I wasn't paying attention drifting on your acid tongue
You have terrific tension, rosy jelly through my bones

If I drink one more word I'll be too drunk
Save your last move for when we're back inside
Oh I can't lie, you're out
of this world

You made your intervention, now my heart has gone too slow
I don't love this direction but I really want to go

I don't know who I think you are be cool
don't make a fool of me
Save your last words I don't have fortitude
I know I'm screwed, you're out
of your mind
Track Name: Pigeon Folk
I remember days back home
by when the beating heat had gone
where we lay calmly under pillow forts
and watched reruns or hit on the controls
the hours lasted years, some centuries ago

When we rushed the days like accidents
Around you I was at my best
I never had the precedents
No seconds lost to hesitating doubt
And now each step gets closer to hysteria

So what if I still hold on to us
So what if I'm still holding a grudge
So what if I'm still of your religion
there's not many signs of grace up in my stars

Now all these pigeon folk that hang around
they make it hard to figure out
the bricks that mark the passageway
the godly from the pleasant enemy
I still can't jump down from their wings

So maybe yes you're right, in all these amulets
I only want to find
a string connecting everything behind me
In a picture
in a song
and in alarm

So I remember days back home
before this beating heart went cold
where we sat lonely in your doorstep
and we couldn't say exactly what was wrong
we were only flesh and blood.